Communicating Effectively



  • Communication is a huge part of maintaining a healthy relationship. We can often resort to anger, criticism, loudly repeating or becoming defensive or upset when discussing sensitive topics. You might want to try following these steps when bringing up a sensitive topic to communicate with your partner effectively:
    1. Initiate the conversation
      • Make sure you are in a safe environment. Approach your partner calmly, telling them you would like to talk about X and ask if they are available to. If they are not, set a time to have the conversation and commit to it. Try to avoid attacking or criticising each other.
    2. Paraphrase and ask questions
      • Sometimes arguments escalate over misunderstanding one another. Try paraphrasing what the other person is saying so you can make sure you are understanding what they mean, eg. “If I heard you correctly…”, “If I’ve got it right, you said…” Try to not edit what you said and keep it neutral. Check for accuracy to see if you and your partner are understanding each other.
    3. Empathising
      • Try to see how your partner is feeling and empathise with them, eg. “I can see that you are feeling…”, “I imagine you might be feeling…”
    4. Compromise
      • Compromising or meeting in the middle is important in many relationships. Try to see if you can come to a shared resolution but be sure that one partner is not always compromising for the other.

Initiate the conversation 

Make sure you are in a safe environment. Approach your partner calmly, telling them you would like to talk about X and ask if they are available to. If they are not, set a time to have the conversation and commit to it. Try to avoid attacking or criticising each other.

Paraphrase and ask questions

Sometimes arguments escalate over misunderstanding one another. Try paraphrasing what the other person is saying so you can make sure you are understanding what they mean, eg. "If I heard you correctly...", "If I've got it right, you said..." Try to not edit what you said and keep it neutral. Check for accuracy to see if you and your partner are understanding each other.

Empathising 

Try to see how your partner is feeling and empathise with them, eg. "I can see that you are feeling...", "I imagine you might be feeling…”.

Compromise 

Compromising or meeting in the middle is important in many relationships. Try to see if you can come to a shared resolution but be sure that one partner is not always compromising for the other